I couldn’t count how many times I have botched things with my kids. And when this happens the only thing that I can do, which is the right thing to do, is to say I’m sorry.
In fact, I say it so often they don’t think much when they hear me say it now.
These are things I’ve often said;
”Sorry guys, I’m just grouchy, not your fault, forgive me?”
”Man, I’m so sorry I snapped like that, please forgive me?”
”Apologies I’m late picking you up, sorry for making you wait.”
Mostly it’s impatience, grumpiness and being late. The usual ’mum’ complaints. It’s a big list, the things I have said sorry for.
The flip side of this practice though is that my kids often apologise too. In fact, they apologise quite quickly. Sometimes instantly when they snap or say something mean.
If I’m showing them what humility looks like by putting their comfort and feelings ahead of my own pride, they are more likely to copy because it’s become normal behaviour.
Humility isn’t thinking of less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. QUOTE
Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t always good at this, especially when we don’t even know we did something or hurt someone. We might realise a while late, or need to be told by someone what we did was terrible.
Other times I know I upset someone but I don’t want to apologise. This is when I have to grow in humility. Often it’s when I get cross and I feel I am justified but ultimately I was wrong and have to make amends.
It’s all part of growing as a parent. We aren’t saints, gurus or completely matured yet. We are fellow humans learning how to do life. Really we are only a few years ahead and even though we know a lot more sometimes in comparison to our kids (some are smarter than us at times) we don’t know everything.
Luckily we know how to apologise for mistakes we make.
Your kids are learning how to get along with others in this world, and it’s not always easy to say sorry out in the real world, but at home saying sorry should be something that reconnects and brings peace to them.
IF YOU HATE SAYING YOUR SORRY
If you struggle to say you’re sorry, you can always start by making it as painless as possible for yourself. There are a few things that can make it easier if you like;
You can do it fast! Just walk into their room and say very quickly “I’m sorry I was a jerk, please forgive me’ and walk out again. You can even do it with your eyes closed. Kids respond to this, mostly because you show vulnerability and they immediately love you for it because they know how it feels.
Give yourself a cool off period of about 20-30 minutes before you apologise. If your still cranky and feeling justified you won’t truly apologise. Don’t try and apologise with ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me BUT…and go into another lecture it ruins the apology and everyone gets upset again.
‘I’M SORRY’, It’s such a simple practice, yet it creates such a wonderful connection when we can accept each other’s faults.