I hated working hard but never getting done what I needed to. The anxiety felt like a grip at night when I remembered what I didn’t get to. I can show you how to quit the overwhelm for good.
I have the simplest most straight forward process in the world that will make it so easy for you to know exactly what you need to do to create breathing room for yourself.
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Many things cause stress, and often for busy women, it is that we simply can’t manage everything we have to do. We can for a while, but it wears us down and eventually, and we find ourselves unable to keep up. But I also know how you can learn how to organise your life by sorting your important priorities to make your life more manageable.
THE ‘JAR OF TIME’ TO ORGANISE YOUR LIFE
I am going to use the analogy of a jar being filled with rocks first, pebbles 2nd, and lastly sand. The ‘jar’ represents a fixed volume that we have all been given, with the ability to make choices on how we will fill it and/or use it. Our time is an inflexible, fixed quantity that we can choose to use however we please, but there is a limit. Each of us has the same 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, 52 weeks a year. We cannot store the time we are given, or buy more. Whether you are rich or poor you have the same amount as anybody else.
First, you determine your essentials. List ALL of the current tasks, jobs, activities, and commitments that you do. Whatever you can think of, write them down.
- Work or school, whatever your occupation is whether working or a student
- Food, and everything that pertains to it, grocery shopping, preparing your food and meal times
- Health and fitness, including, exercise, personal hygiene, and bathing, and general home hygiene such as laundry and bathroom.
- Sleep, look after yourself, and making sure your body rests is as important as exercise
No matter how busy you are these tasks aren’t optional. They can’t be removed from your schedule long term even if you wanted them to be!
THE SECOND STEP IS THE ‘PEBBLES’
Next, come the ‘Pebbles’, these are non-urgent but still important tasks, not essential but still significant. Whether these tasks are important or not is up to each individual, they decide if they need them. But they are also the things that make life fun and fulfilling. Think of colourful, shiny pebbles, all different shapes and sizes. Pebbles can be very pretty, and smooth, they fit into small spaces easily. Pebbles are added to the jar around the essential rocks. There is room for them, but not as much as you think, this is where the tension begins.
- Gym / Exercise
ACTION: What are your commitments & activities?
SAND IS THE ‘FILLER’
The unspecified, unallocated activities, that fill in the gaps. I have personally decided that the sand is actually the gold in life, the treasure, think of small grains of golden sand that run through your fingers. Sand is the area of margin that we create for things we wouldn’t recognise as tasks. Just like the margin in a textbook, which is used for notes, or last-minute changes. Some call it white space, breathing room, or wriggle room. The margin is the space you need to catch your breath between things.
Here you add the extra things that you know you need and/or want to do.
- Extra time to have a casual conversation or small talk
- Time to stop with your little while they look at a bug or pick a flower, you WANT to be that mother.
- Browse a magazine or read a book
- Play board games or have a family night
- Reading OR talking to your kids in bed at night
- Going for an evening walk, bike rides
What are the things that you want to start or start doing again?
What would make the biggest difference to your family relationships that you haven’t had time for lately? What would you find fun or relaxing? See ’20 Ways to Relax’ What appeals to you most of all?
PUTTING IT ALTOGETHER
Now you’ve allocated time for essentials that will happen regardless, and you decided how much margin you would like. How does everything fit? If it doesn’t the only place to adjust is the pretty ‘pebbles’. In all honesty, all you can do is either reduce the amount of time you are spending on these extra activities or remove them altogether.
- Decide to only volunteer once a week instead of 3x a week
- Take a year off from a particular commitment or role and see if it helps reduce stress levels at home
- Decide you will spend fewer hours in the clubrooms while you have a family at home that might need you
- Reduce your child’s sports to one a week instead of 2
You may try something and it doesn’t work and have to adjust things again, that’s normal.
Keep changing, correcting and trying different things until you find a balance that works for you and yours.