When marriage and kids come along, or life happens, it becomes essential to know what gives you rest and most importantly the strategies to make it happen. I have 3 kids and had my first night away when my youngest was a year old. I desperately needed rest, so I started regularly planning time away alone for myself to relax.
A little rest for the mind, body & soul. What was a quick fix for a tired weary woman became a regular retreat I planned a few times a year.
When I was younger, I didn’t want time away alone! But self-care looks much different when your 21 and single, then when your 30 raising toddlers.
WE SOMETIMES NEED A NIGHT OFF!
Any mother will tell you, looking after children, caregiving of any kind for that matter can be extremely full-on. We get tired and it’s all too much.
If your in that season, don’t doubt yourself for sometimes feeling like your just keeping up, it’s a very busy time of life.
Talking with a friend one day she suggested a place she knew that I could get away for a little rest, a night off!
Oh my, that sounded like HEAVEN.
So I thought about it, chatted with my husband, looked into it, planned a night AND WENT…and it was good!
MY PRIMARY MOTIVATION WAS REST
Although I didn’t really know what I would actually do, I knew what I needed.
So I slept, I read, watched a movie, walked, sat by the fireplace, slept some more. It was 24 hours of bliss.
It sounds luxurious, I know!
I do have an incredibly gracious husband and we both work hard to help each other out when we need it. Although he doesn’t like this idea for himself, he gets me enough to know that I do need it.
WAYS AROUND LIMITATIONS OF FINANCE OR LACK OF SUPPORT
It can feel impossible for lots of reasons, but mostly it will come down to two things.
Either feeling a lack of support to make it possible for you to go, or a lack of finance to afford it.
But there are often ways around the limitations you might have so you CAN achieve what you need.
For instance, you might not get away for as long if you don’t have the support you need at home, you may just manage a day or an afternoon instead of a night?
It’s sometimes not how long you have but what you do with the time.
If finance is an issue, you won’t go as far or as fancy. Can’t afford lots of travel, motel or restaurant costs.
Ask around for a space that’s close and inexpensive? My first retreat was on a farm, 40 mins away for a donation only.
Maybe a women’s retreat centre, a friends holiday home or even local churches sometimes have a room you can use for a day.
NO SELF-INDULGENCE HERE
If you can afford a night in a hotel then that’s awesome but this isn’t about pampering or pleasure-seeking, it’s about getting yourself back to a regular standard of function again.
Simply being able to do regular things with no dependants constantly needing your help is rest enough for some.
Eating a meal with no interruptions, having an afternoon nap, taking a walk or reading a book.
IT’S-A MIND SHIFT TO PRIORITISE YOURSELF – BUT YOU MUST
We can get by on not much for a while, but eventually, we waver and tire.
Don’t wait till you’re exhausted.
Planning time away alone has become something I do a couple of times a year. I don’t wait until I’m completely worn out though, I plan it when I am starting to feel jaded or when I know there is an opportunity coming up for a getaway.
Time for yourself needs to be included in your lifestyle, we know its important but it’s hard to prioritise when there are many demands.
You are essential for your kid’s well-being, so take care of the asset, the asset is YOU.